overcome-agoraphobia

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"How To Get Started With Exposure Therapy For Agoraphobia"

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When doing exposure journeys for agoraphobia, it’s always good to have a plan of action, at least in the early stages.

This is because it’s easier to keep calm if you know where you’re supposed to be going and how to get there.

Otherwise if you don’t know where you’re going, you might become restless and vulnerable to anxiety.

However, not knowing what to think about or what to focus on during exposures can also have the same effect.

People often do affirmations to get through exposures.

Affirmations can help, but often they’re not enough.

It depends on when and how you do them.

If you want your affirmations to be effective, I can recommend ways to go about doing them, which I’ll go through shortly.

I’ll also talk about the difference between keeping your mind distracted, occupied or focussed.

Keeping busy with tasks during exposures can also be helpful.

Surprisingly, any feelings of boredom and annoyance can also be used to your advantage.

I’ll explain this in detail.

The whole point of exposures is to face situations that you find scary.

It’s not about avoidance.

It’s tempting to want to get through exposures quickly, but what you should be doing is immersing yourself in the experience so that you can become thick skinned and eventually less prone to anxiety.

On the one hand, what you want is to be fully present during the exposure experience.

But on the other hand, you also want to be able to get through it without freaking out and then vowing never to try again.

It’s about balance.

Using Affirmations To Enhance Your Exposures

overcome-agoraphobia

When it comes to self talk, my usual advice is that it’s best to focus more on exposures.

The reason being that it’s no good telling yourself that you’re confident if you’re not actually proving it.

Without anything to back up your words, they don’t really do much.

It’s just wishful thinking.

However, self talk is in fact very helpful.

The thing is, you need to know the best time and the best way to do it.

And the very best time to do them is during exposures.

You have to be action oriented rather than endlessly talking to yourself about how you want to feel.

Affirmations are great for reprogramming your amygdala, but you have to take action too.

Affirmations are about more than just what you say to yourself.

You need to first put yourself in the right frame of mind.

This means accepting that you might panic.

When you talk to yourself, it’s best to accompany your words with the right posture.

Stand up straight and walk confidently.

Everything you can do to back up those words will reinforce them and help you.

Also, don’t forget to smile. And I don’t just mean internally.

Here are some examples of the kinds of affirmations that you can say to yourself.

These are my own, you should come up with your own if you feel the need.

 

“There is no danger” :

This has been my default mantra.

It’s the most important thing to keep in mind during an exposure, and worth reminding yourself of.

The purpose of an exposure is to demonstrate that you’re in no danger.

So when you do this, affirm it by saying it as well.

 

“I’m here and I will be here for some time” :

It’s easy to get really scared and wish you could wave a magic wand and instantly be home again.

But you have to accept that you are wherever you are, for now.

Acceptance, if you’re willing to try it, is a great way of taking the pressure off.

Once you accept that you’re out there in the wilderness, and there’s no escape for now, you can just get on with dealing with it.

 

“I did this and I can do this again” :

This is a good one for when you’re on your way back home.

It’s a way to strengthen the feeling of achievement and confidence that you’ll get after you’ve challenged yourself and succeeded.

 

Before you say an affirmation, it’s a good idea to first feel the essence of what you’re about to say before you say it.

That way when you say it, it will have more meaning.

For example, if you’re about to tell yourself that you’re handling an anxious moment well, feel that pride and confidence before you affirm it with words.

Again, smiling works wonders.

A smile can drown out negative feelings very quickly.

Another thing you can do is say an affirmation whenever something positive happens.

For example, if you get a bit anxious and then a few moments later you feel fine, say an affirmation such as “Well that wasn’t too bad”.

In fact, why not narrate your whole journey with positive self talk.

So you see, you can use affirmations in a powerful way, one that will make your inner dialogue part of the experience.

This will help create an overall positive memory of the exposure.

I’ll reiterate, affirmations are very helpful.

But don’t use them as a substitute for action.

Get out there, put yourself in challenging situations, and then use them.

Do it, then say it.

Distracted, Occupied Or Focused?

overcome-agoraphobia

When you’re challenging yourself with exposures, what should be on your mind?

What should you be thinking about?

Let’s look at the three possibilities.

 

Keep yourself distracted :

This is a crutch.

Keeping yourself distracted is a way to avoid being fully present, and it’s generally not a good idea.

The whole point of exposure is to trigger an anxious response to your situation, and then to face that anxiety with courage.

If you immerse yourself in other things, such as listening to music as you go, or reading a newspaper or whatever, this defeats the whole object.

How are you going to kill that anxiety if you’re too busy looking the other way?

Avoidance and distractions are the opposite of exposure.

However, sometimes an exposure can be very difficult, and I see nothing wrong with a little bit of escapism once in a while.

But remember that this is something that you only should resort to if it will get you out that door and into the discomfort zone.

After you’ve done many exposures, you should seriously consider weaning yourself off this completely.

 

Keep your mind mildly occupied :

There’s a fine line between keeping your mind and attention occupied, and distracting yourself in order to avoid.

You most certainly can fill your attention with various thoughts, no problem, but just be careful.

Don’t let it turn into avoidance.

Listening to music is fine, but don’t forget to acknowledge your environment and surroundings.

In fact, doing these things is totally normal, and to an extent you should do them.

This is what normal people do.

They read, they think, they fidget, etc.

Reading a book is OK, just don’t run away into the pages.

Thinking about this or that is not a problem, but be sure to have some awareness of what’s going on around you.

 

Be totally focused and engaged on your surroundings :

Fully experiencing the place and situation that you find yourself in is the essence of exposure.

And it’s the opposite of avoidance.

It’s good to be completely present.

When you’re walking down the street, look at the buildings, touch a wall as you walk past it, maybe sit down somewhere for a minute.

What you don’t want is for your journey to feel like a dream.

You want it to feel real.

I would say however, don’t be super intense about it.

If you do it too much, it could become a crutch.

What I mean is that you could find yourself hiding away from the full experience of the exposure by narrowing your focus.

Make sure you “zoom out” as well as “zoom in”.

 

So there are your options.

Distract yourself, keep yourself mildly occupied, or focus intensely on your surroundings.

There’s a time to do each one, and it’s up to you to use your judgment.

Whatever you do, be flexible.

Give Yourself Tasks To Do During Exposures

overcome-agoraphobia

Sometimes during an exposure, one can easily become preoccupied with negative thoughts and fear.

Exposure is about facing those moments and going through them.

However, you mustn’t forget that ultimately it’s all about getting back to normal.

So why not kill two birds with one stone.

Get out of comfort zone while keeping yourself occupied with something practical and positive.

That way you can avoid demoralization and start getting back to a normal life.

Having something to do will give you a sense of accomplishment.

Doing an exposure for its own sake is great, but if you give yourself a task to do and then you complete it, it will make the experience feel more positive.

Often anxiety becomes worse when you feel like an incompetent hermit.

But it’s hard to be anxious when you’ve just accomplished something.

As your task gets closer to completion, you’ll feel yourself getting stronger.

What sort of tasks could you give yourself?

Why not start with the kinds of things that you might expect to do in day to day life.

Go shopping.

Deposit some money in the bank.

Go to a library and take out a book, or at least find a book on a topic and sit and read it for a while.

Go to a cafe and sit with a drink and a newspaper or a book.

Make a phone call.

Think of things that you’ve been meaning to do, and see if you can include them in your exposure journey.

I’m sure you can think of plenty of things.

As you complete more exposures, you can do more regular, day to day stuff while you’re out there.

Exposures will become less intense, and your anxiety will become more of a side challenge rather than the main theme of your journeys.

This is a good stepping stone back to normality.

Eventually you’ll feel like you have a normal life, and it will simply be a matter of ramping it up and doing more things.

Also don’t forget that by giving yourself things to do, you’re communicating to your amygdala that not only is there no danger, but that you are a competent person.

One aspect of agoraphobia is feeling like you can’t cope with life.

Well, you can. And you can prove it.

You’ll not only step outside of your comfort zone, you’ll also step back into your normal way of life.

It doesn’t take much to make a big difference.

A small task here and there to begin with, and before you know it you’ll be able to spend a lot of time out and about, doing what you used to do.

overcome-agoraphobia

It’s hard to be anxious when you’re bored or annoyed.

There’s something about these two feelings that seems to block anxiety.

How can you be worried or scared when you’re bored?

How can you be anxious when you’re annoyed?

It’s not easy.

So let’s take advantage of this.

Next time you’re doing an exposure and you’re in a situation that might become boring or annoying, make the situation work for you.

There are many scenarios which can be boring.

A long walk down a bland looking street.

The repetition of an exposure journey that you’ve already done many times.

An interaction that is predictable.

And there are many situations that can be annoying.

Having to cross a busy road but there are so many cars that you have to wait for ages.

Missing a bus by a few seconds and having to wait for the next one.

Hearing annoying music in a supermarket.

I suggest that you look for opportunities like this.

Don’t avoid them. Welcome them.

Let the feeling overwhelm you.

It’s not nice, certainly, but at least you won’t be anxious.

There are various ways to do this.

If you’re in the supermarket, get in the longest line.

Watch how inefficient some workers are.

Listen to the inane conversations that some people tend to have.

Count the excruciating seconds before you can get the hell out of there.

If you feel anxious, remind yourself of how bored you are.

Before you head out to do your next exposure, think of something that irritates you.

A problem that needs solving or a frustrating conversation that you recently had.

And take the feeling with you.

You might want to make a list of things that you dislike and spend some time thinking about them while you do your exposure.

Think about how boredom and annoyance are part of every day life, and that if you can feel them, then that means you can live normally.

It means that anxiety isn’t powerful enough to always take the limelight.

It shows that you’re bigger than anxiety.

When you’re irritated, remind yourself that this is much better than being anxious.

Smile and be thankful that you’ve got something on your mind other than anxiety.

Usually I would not suggest doing anything to avoid facing anxiety.

This is because if you can face it, and go right through it, you’ll become stronger.

However, in this case, I think it’s not so much about avoiding anxiety, as ignoring it.

Ignoring it and replacing it with a normal, everyday feeling.

An alternative to anxiety.

Boredom is normal. Annoyance is normal.

Unnecessary anxiety is not normal.

If you can turn away from anxiety by focusing on other emotions, it shows that you can pause it.

You can put it to one side.

And it reminds you that at any time you want, you can stop being anxious.

This is about training yourself to control how you feel.

Anxiety needn’t be viewed as something that grabs you and then you can’t get away from it.

Of course you can release yourself from it.

Your agoraphobia is a silly habit.

Your anxiety is a waste of time and energy.

Just stop being anxious.

Feel something else instead.

The negativity of boredom or annoyance is strong enough to keep you engaged.

But it’s also not distressing.

Focusing on them is a great way to convert your anxious energy into something that can’t and won’t stop you from living your life.

You might think that it won’t work, you might feel that it will make you anxious, but try it and you’ll be surprised.

What do you think? Scroll down and let me know in the comments.
overcome-agoraphobia

Get your FREE PDF guide : 

"How To Get Started With Exposure Therapy For Agoraphobia"

Click HERE (opens in a new tab)

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