God Cop, Bad Cop There’s A Time To Be Nice To Yourself, And A Time To Be Harsh When it comes to improving yourself in some way, and that includes overcoming something (for example, agoraphobia), there are two schools of thought. One is to be gentle and compassionate, and the other is to be tough and harsh. Which of these two approaches should you take towards yourself while you do exposures to beat agoraphobia? Both. I say there’s a time to be nice to yourself, and a time to be harsh. Some people are more sensitive than others.
     Reader’s Question : How To Not Escape A Situation Where I Might Panic? Q : Before I go somewhere where I know I’ll have a panic attack, I usually tell myself that “I will feel bad for a while and it’s not dangerous and I’ve been through it a million times and no matter what DON’T ESCAPE it because it only makes things worse”. But when I’m in the situation and the fight or flight response kicks in, I’m ready to throw all of that talk away almost immediately and just to get the hell out of the
     Don’t Rely On Crutches When Doing Exposures You Must Wean Yourself Off These Things When you’re getting ready to do an exposure, it’s tempting to want to take some items with you to keep yourself distracted. You might feel like taking a book or your phone so you can have something to read. You might also want to take certain things to make you feel a sense of reassurance. Things like mints, chewing gum, a bottle of water, or anything that will help you to feel anchored to something that reminds you of safety or familiarity. Should you
     Overcoming Agoraphobia Will Make You A Better Person The Opportunity To Build Character Not only will beating agoraphobia enable you to live your life the way you want, it also has other benefits. Here are some ways that you’ll become a better person. Courage : People without agoraphobia only have to deal with real dangers and threats when they present themselves. However, you also have to deal with the fear of fear. In other words, being afraid of how you’ll feel in certain places and situations. That’s a lot to handle. It takes a lot of courage to
     Anxiety Is Exciting How You Experience It Is Up To You There are different ways to look at anxiety and why it happens. One way to look at it is that it’s nervous energy seeking an outlet. The more you shield yourself from every day life and its potential difficulties and tricky situations, the less competent you become at dealing with them. And guess what, you’re going to become anxious when there’s no need. Just like if an army doesn’t train regularly, or if a boxer doesn’t train often to keep in shape, if you don’t expose yourself
     Don’t Resist, Don’t Turn Back, Don’t Run Away Let Anxiety Wash Over You It seems very counterintuitive but when you’re anxious or panicking, you have to stay where you are. When you’re anxious, that’s exactly when you have to stand your ground and stay put. It might seem to you that by getting away you’re relieving yourself of stress. But it’s the opposite. By running away, you’re telling yourself that you’re in danger. Do you think that’s going to make you feel calm? Of course not. It’s going to make you anxious. You must respond to any anxiety
     You’ve Arrived At Your Destination. Now What? Each Journey Should Benefit You It’s important to make sure that each exposure carries as much weight as possible. Exposures shouldn’t just be quick journeys where you briefly show your face somewhere and then scurry back home like a frightened mouse. Each journey should benefit you. Here are some things that you can do when you arrive at your destination to make the most of the experience. The first thing you can do is make yourself vividly aware of how far you are from home. Think about how you got there,
     Using Affirmations To Enhance Your Exposures The Very Best Time To Do Them Is During Exposures When it comes to self talk, my usual advice is that it’s best to focus more on exposures. The reason being that it’s no good telling yourself that you’re confident if you’re not actually proving it. Without anything to back up your words, they don’t really do much. It’s just wishful thinking. However, self talk is in fact very helpful. The thing is, you need to know the best time and the best way to do it. And the very best time
     Don’t Let Reinforcement Turn Into Complacency Don’t Get Too Comfortable The way to do exposures is to put yourself in challenging situations repeatedly. The purpose of this is so that you’ll get used to facing whatever makes you anxious. Along the way, it’s a good idea to reinforce your progress by doing certain journeys at least a couple of times. As you keep doing more and more exposures, there will be times when you’ll look back and be impressed at how far you’ve progressed, and how well you’re doing. Whenever this happens, take some time to give yourself
     What’s It Like To Have A Panic Attack And Not Care? It’s The Ultimate Superpower Did you know that you are capable of experiencing the sensations of a panic attack, while remaining calm, and without distress? You may think it’s impossible, but it’s not. The more exposures you do, the more you get used to whatever sensations you have along the way. Whether it’s slight nervousness, mild anxiety, significant anxiety, or a panic attack. The real obstacle with agoraphobia is the fear of how you’ll feel. The fear of those horrible sensations. But if you can used to